I don't like making decisions.
I don't like having too many options.
Some days I wish I could go back to pre-school,
when we were given two options.
PB&J or cold meat sandwich?
This book or that book?
Red crayon or blue crayon?
Somedays I wish that I could be given a choice between two lives.
Two package deals.
Do you want the American dream?
It's comfortable and normal.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
It comes with a husband, 2.5 kids, and a medium-sized house.
Completely furnished. A dog in the backyard. A white picket fence.
A great job, and an apron.
Or option two:
Do you want the Adventurous route?
The one without comfort?
The one with lots of surprises and relying on God's strength?
The one where you live in a different country?
Where the picture of your future in your mind is unknown?
Where all you can expect is a big question mark?
Want a spouse or not? Can you see yourself over there with one?
The option where you share the gospel for a living,
don't know where your food comes from,
and you get to see first-hand the Kingdom work?
Or how about next year choices even,
let's back it up a little.
Which college choice do you want?
Do you want to continue on the path you chose?
Bethel with an art major?
It's easy. It's comfortable. It's teeming with the venus fly traps of complacency and lukewarmness.
Or Moody with a Women's Ministry major?
What will you do with that when you graduate?
This one more coincides with the adventure route in life.
Where I major in missions and go overseas.
It'd be scary.
It'd be wonderful.
I'd learn a lot about the bible.
Or should I transfer to Northwestern?
I could major in intercultural studies.
I already love the people there.
It'd be different.
It'd be unexpected.
It'd be what I had planned all of my junior year.
Would I grow?
Would I be challenged?
The biggest question right now is this:
What's God's plan?
Is it specific, or does it just hinge on right and wrong?
Does He care as long as I'm honoring Him?
In the game of Life, this is where my path splits and I make a decision.
The truth is, I have no idea what to do.
So many options, so little to go off of.
So here I am, on my knees - pleading that God will give me some direction.
Some sort of idea, any sort of idea of where He wants me.
A glimpse of the future perhaps?
A note in my mailbox with my life plan laid out?
As of right now, I have no clue where I'll be next year.
I have no idea what I'll do with my life.
I have no idea where I'll go.
All I know is that I desire to glorify God.
We'll see where He takes me.
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