Archive for March 2011

Teenage Girl {Tough Stuff Series}

Published on 6:25 AM By Aunica
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You're just another
teenage girl
trying to find your place
in this lonely world
looking for love
in all the wrong places
tired of staring
at all those blank faces
you look for acceptance
wherever you can find it
searching for the place
that into it you fit
you drink on the weekends
smoking in your car
wearing low cut shirts
trying to be the star
of your own reality TV show
a tell all interview
that shows that you're not as together
as people generally think of you
trying drugs of every color
flirting with all the player boys
trying not to get pregnant
before you graduate, it's your choice
you laugh too loudly
smile too widely
walk too quickly
flirt too deftly
to understand that you're not the only one
going through this masquerade
trying to find your place
and keep the fear at bay
seeing a crowd in every direction
of people you have to please
until the tears start rolling
and you fall to your knees
when did this all start?
you wonder inside
as you try to figure out new ways
to keep people from seeing inside your life
you don't want them to see the real you
the fake one is much more cool
you can be whoever you want
without any pain, that's the rule
but as you get older you see
it wasn't worth it at all
instead of not getting hurt
you lost yourself in the fall
you scramble to get your life back
as it slips through your hands
you just wanted to fit in
to give into all the world's demands
but here you are now
without a clue who you are
trying to take off the mask
and keep from getting scars
you look for love
 in a the wrong places
until to your real soul
you can't find the traces.

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Bulimia {Tough Stuff Series}

Published on 7:54 AM By Aunica
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You're the first in the bathroom
the last one out the door
You wait until it's silent
down your face the tears roll
You can't hold it back
the bile flowing in your mouth
you can't remember when it started
the day it all went south
The tears keep flowing
as you wretch and gasp for air
waiting for it to be over
as you hold back your hair
all you wanted was to be skinny
so you binge and purge it all
each day looking in the mirror
hoping one day you'll be small
You can't eat anything anymore
without guilt or feeling fat
you don't know what to do
or who could love someone like that
You flush the toilet and start to leave
then from another stall
you hear a meak voice call out
"are you alright, at all?"
You freeze in fear, what do you do?
As you slow your exit down
You call out "yeah, ate something bad"
as you try to hide your frown
You wash your hands then run away
knowing you'll be back again
no matter how many times you try
you're never going to win.

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