As I'm studying Job this week, I've been dumbfounded by this man of God.
Satan literally takes everything Job has, and then gives him a terrible disease.
It's really made me think.
What's my breaking point?
Job's wife pleads with him multiple times to curse the Lord and die, but he refuses.
Would I do the same?
At what point would I say "God, I can't take this. It's too much."
At what point would I say "this suffering is unbearable. I can't go on."
Would I, like Job, in the depth of my suffering and anguish, praise God?
Wouldn't I doubt God?
Wouldn't I question Him?
Wouldn't I be angry?
Wouldn't I feel like I wouldn't deserve it?
The faith of Job is crazy.
That's the faith I want.
I want to say "God, take everything."
I want to be able to know that, no matter what, I will praise the Lord.
He is my Redeemer.
Job. What an example of faith.
Breaking Point
Breaking Point
Stress & Breathing
Stress & Breathing
Stress.
I'm not a fan.
If I make it to Easter alive, it'll be a miracle.
I've officially decided that I need to learn to say "no" to TA hours.
I mean, they don't just ask me if I'm too busy for their own entertainment.
But alas, each time they need help I volunteer.
I feel like I'm trying to swim through molasses,
I'm kicking my legs and moving my arms as fast as I can - but I'm getting nowhere.
I have a lot of long term projects due next week, but my motivation levels are super low.
Spring is here.
My grades don't matter.
And all I really want to do is go home and spend time with Jesus.
Deep breath.
Somehow, I'm going to make it out alive.
I'm not a fan.
If I make it to Easter alive, it'll be a miracle.
I've officially decided that I need to learn to say "no" to TA hours.
I mean, they don't just ask me if I'm too busy for their own entertainment.
But alas, each time they need help I volunteer.
I feel like I'm trying to swim through molasses,
I'm kicking my legs and moving my arms as fast as I can - but I'm getting nowhere.
I have a lot of long term projects due next week, but my motivation levels are super low.
Spring is here.
My grades don't matter.
And all I really want to do is go home and spend time with Jesus.
Deep breath.
Somehow, I'm going to make it out alive.
Mortal vs. Divine Love
Mortal vs. Divine Love
This morning I've been thinking about God a lot.
Go figure.
But today especially, I've found myself lost in His love.
God's love isn't conditional.
It's not an if...then statement.
It's not "If you're a good christian, then I'll love you."
"If you go to church, then I'll love you."
"if you read your bible, then I'll love you."
"If you pray for 3 hours a day, then I'll love you."
"If you never sin, then I'll love you."
So often I compare His love to the love I see in this world.
And frankly, that's a shame.
I belittle my Savior when I make assumptions about His character.
I put God in a box when I tell him "you'll only love me if I never sin."
I tell God He isn't powerful enough to love me all the time, that at some point there has to be a reason He would stop loving me, even for a couple minutes.
God's love isn't the love of cheap cards, wilted flowers, and apology letters.
God's love is one of sacrifice, of beauty, of eternity.
God's love is the promise whispered in the storm.
God's love is the sweet caress of a gentle breeze.
God's love doesn't leave me.
He doesn't forsake me.
When I'm lost in pain.
When I'm broken.
When I make mistakes.
He still loves me.
I'm not sure that this is a lesson I'll ever fully understand, but it's one I'm going to try to live according to.
God's love is crazy.
God's love is good.
God's love is awe-inspiring.
We're called to love like Jesus does.
We're called to unconditionally love others.
No matter how many times they hurt us.
No matter what they say about us.
No matter how they disappoint us.
We are called to forgive.
We are called to move on.
And to offer them the unconditional love of Christ.
Go figure.
But today especially, I've found myself lost in His love.
God's love isn't conditional.
It's not an if...then statement.
It's not "If you're a good christian, then I'll love you."
"If you go to church, then I'll love you."
"if you read your bible, then I'll love you."
"If you pray for 3 hours a day, then I'll love you."
"If you never sin, then I'll love you."
So often I compare His love to the love I see in this world.
And frankly, that's a shame.
I belittle my Savior when I make assumptions about His character.
I put God in a box when I tell him "you'll only love me if I never sin."
I tell God He isn't powerful enough to love me all the time, that at some point there has to be a reason He would stop loving me, even for a couple minutes.
God's love isn't the love of cheap cards, wilted flowers, and apology letters.
God's love is one of sacrifice, of beauty, of eternity.
God's love is the promise whispered in the storm.
God's love is the sweet caress of a gentle breeze.
God's love doesn't leave me.
He doesn't forsake me.
When I'm lost in pain.
When I'm broken.
When I make mistakes.
He still loves me.
I'm not sure that this is a lesson I'll ever fully understand, but it's one I'm going to try to live according to.
God's love is crazy.
God's love is good.
God's love is awe-inspiring.
We're called to love like Jesus does.
We're called to unconditionally love others.
No matter how many times they hurt us.
No matter what they say about us.
No matter how they disappoint us.
We are called to forgive.
We are called to move on.
And to offer them the unconditional love of Christ.
Psalms & Sunrises {Date Time with the Lord}
Psalms & Sunrises {Date Time with the Lord}
{Awestruck.}
{Breatheless.}
{Magnificent.}
{Those are the only words I can think of to even scratch the surface of describing the beauty of God’s creation.}
{There’s something about the Iowan countryside that ministers to the heart. Sitting here watching the sunrise, talking to God, and praising Him for all He has made.}
{Wow. Beauty doesn’t even begin to describe it.}
{What a blessing to have been woken up at 5 by the Creator of the Universe.}
{Magnificent.}
{Those are the only words I can think of to even scratch the surface of describing the beauty of God’s creation.}
{There’s something about the Iowan countryside that ministers to the heart. Sitting here watching the sunrise, talking to God, and praising Him for all He has made.}
{Wow. Beauty doesn’t even begin to describe it.}
{What a blessing to have been woken up at 5 by the Creator of the Universe.}
{The conversation went something like this:
Me: Groan. “It’s only 5? Really? But I’m SO AWAKE.”
I then attempt to fall back asleep. Which fails, drastically.
God: “Aaaaunica. Time to get up.”
Me: “But God, I mean, I go back to school today – can I just sleep more? Otherwise I’ll be SO TIRED all week!”
God: “Is school more important than me?”
Me: “Well…obviously not. But, that’s beside the point. You know I need sleep. I’m going to two church services today anyways, isn’t that enough?”
God: “Aunica. Can you ever have enough time with me?”
Me: “(under my breath) You always ask the obvious questions. No, Lord, I can never have enough of you. Just maybe, more of you when I’m more awake? Or when I’m not sacrificing precious sleep?”
God: “Preccciousss sleep? (Think Gollum…okay God didn’t use gollum’s voice. Although, He may have imitated him, actually. It was 5 am, give me a break.) Aunica. Get real. Remember when we talked about fasting? Fast your sleep. Right now. I have something cool to show you.”
Me: Grumble. “Okay, here goes nothing. Will you help me stay awake, then?”
God just chuckles and I jump in the shower. I took that as a yes.}
Me: Groan. “It’s only 5? Really? But I’m SO AWAKE.”
I then attempt to fall back asleep. Which fails, drastically.
God: “Aaaaunica. Time to get up.”
Me: “But God, I mean, I go back to school today – can I just sleep more? Otherwise I’ll be SO TIRED all week!”
God: “Is school more important than me?”
Me: “Well…obviously not. But, that’s beside the point. You know I need sleep. I’m going to two church services today anyways, isn’t that enough?”
God: “Aunica. Can you ever have enough time with me?”
Me: “(under my breath) You always ask the obvious questions. No, Lord, I can never have enough of you. Just maybe, more of you when I’m more awake? Or when I’m not sacrificing precious sleep?”
God: “Preccciousss sleep? (Think Gollum…okay God didn’t use gollum’s voice. Although, He may have imitated him, actually. It was 5 am, give me a break.) Aunica. Get real. Remember when we talked about fasting? Fast your sleep. Right now. I have something cool to show you.”
Me: Grumble. “Okay, here goes nothing. Will you help me stay awake, then?”
God just chuckles and I jump in the shower. I took that as a yes.}
--- Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your name. ---
[Psalm 16:11 --> You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.]
[Psalm 16:11 --> You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.]
{So that was the start of my morning. It’s always hardest to get up, but once I’m awake I see that God really does have great ideas. He sees the better things, and He knows what I need. So I guess a beautiful morning with the Lord was what I needed today!}
[Matthew 10:29-31 --> Are not two
sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside
your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all
numbered. So don’t be afraid; you
are worth more than many sparrows.]
{Anyways. Back to the “ohmygoodnessGod’ssoawesome” party.}
[Psalm 29:3-5 --> The voice of
the LORD is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the LORD thunders over the mighty waters.
The voice of the LORD is powerful;
the voice of the LORD is majestic.
The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.]
the God of glory thunders,
the LORD thunders over the mighty waters.
The voice of the LORD is powerful;
the voice of the LORD is majestic.
The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.]
{I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as breathe taking as watching the world go from dark to light. Honestly. It’s breathtaking. If breathing wasn’t a reflex I’d be dead, because I would have definitely stopped breathing a long time ago. The birds are chirping, the fog is lifting from the ground, and the sky is gaining color as the sun comes closer to its big debute. The grass is green. A robin just landed right next to me. The air is clean, and SO Iowan. Mmm. Deep breath. You can smell life in the air. Oh, what beautiful smell. What beautiful world. What a wonderful savior. Sunrises bring hope. Hope of a new day. Hope of new beginnings. Hope of second chances. Hope of grace and forgiveness. Hope of mercy and peace. Hope of a new tomorrow. Hope. Sorrow may last for a night, but Joy comes in the morning. What a beautiful reminder. }
{Creation reminds me that, truly, nothing else matters in comparison to God. All the worries of this world fall away when set next to His glory. Worrying? Stop. Tired? Wake up. Excited for summer? Slow down. God has a mission for me moment by moment, day by day. When I focus so much on the big picture, I lose sight of the little things God wants me to do day by day. }
[Psalm 32:1--> Rejoice in
the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!]
sing, all you who are upright in heart!]
--- Into Marvelous light I’m running, out of darkness out of shame. ---
{Sunrises. What a great reminder of our spiritual lives as
well. I was once spiritually dead, and overcome by darkness – but now I’m alive
through Christ and the Light lives in me. Mmm. So great. And honestly, when the
sun comes up – life happens. The birds sing, the fog lifts, and everything is
shown in its true beauty.}
[Psalm 33:3-5 --> Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.
play skillfully, and shout for joy.
For the word of the LORD
is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.]
he is faithful in all he does.
The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.]
{Words can’t describe the beauty of God’s creation.}
--- Indescribable, uncontainable –You made the stars in the sky and you call them by name. You are amazing, God. All powerful, unstoppable, awestruck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim – you are amazing, God. ---
[Psalm 92:5 --> How great
are your works, LORD,
how profound your thoughts!]
how profound your thoughts!]
{The Lord is my Song. }
{Brilliant. Inspiring.}
{I really appreciate beauty a lot. The sun. The sky. Green grass. Fresh air. Birds. Mmm. This is a morning that I’ll remember forever. Making memories, with the Creator of the World. No big deal or anything. The way the sunlight hits the grass. The shadows it casts. The knowledge that the world is just waking up. The soft sunlight of the morning. The dew on the blades of grass. The smell of fresh country air. This is the way creation praises. Birds don’t speak English; they sing beautiful songs to the Lord. The sun doesn’t sing; it shines light on the world. Grass doesn’t pray; it just points towards heaven and brings beauty to the Earth. Magnificent doesn’t even come close to describing this beauty.}
[Philippians 4:4-7 -->
God’s peace is really surreal. It’s the kind that engulfs you, taking away any worries, doubts, or fears. It’s the kind of thing that it’s really hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. God is good.]
{Praise the Lord, O my Soul, Praise the Lord. He is good. I
am eternally grateful for these intimate moments that I am blessed to spend
with my Savior. Mulling over life, singing praises, listening, and digging into
the word. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.}
[---> Other Sweet Psalms: 98, 100,103,104,111,113,139,148 <---]
Sunshine & God's Humor
Sunshine & God's Humor
God has a sense of humor.
Wow.
I can't even count the times today I've thanked God for the laughter He's given me.
Trusting Him is ALWAYS the best choice.
It's not always what I choose, but it's always the best choice.
I'm learning, and I'm positive that I will always have things to learn.
I will always have ways to grow.
And God will always have lessons to teach me.
This lesson: trust.
Give things to God, and He will bless you.
Not always in the ways you expect, but He knows WAY better than I do.
Praise the Lord for Joy, laughter, and sunshine.
He is good.
Wow.
I can't even count the times today I've thanked God for the laughter He's given me.
Trusting Him is ALWAYS the best choice.
It's not always what I choose, but it's always the best choice.
I'm learning, and I'm positive that I will always have things to learn.
I will always have ways to grow.
And God will always have lessons to teach me.
This lesson: trust.
Give things to God, and He will bless you.
Not always in the ways you expect, but He knows WAY better than I do.
Praise the Lord for Joy, laughter, and sunshine.
He is good.
Awestruck
Awestruck
Do you ever just stop and breathe.
Taking in the artistry of the Lord.
Wow.
Somedays I could just watch my finger for an hour.
To see the muscles it takes to move my finger.
Or to look at the eye.
And the precision of the eyelid.
The eyelashes.
To think about all the parts of the ear.
To swallow, and think of all the parts of the digestive system.
To breathe and think about my lungs.
To run, and feel the blood pumping through my veins to and from my heart.
To feel my pulse.
To know that I'm alive, and that God is to thank for that.
Wow.
To look at my hand, and examine my cells.
To think of the adaptability that our body has.
To think about the way our skin adapts to the sun.
To think of the way our blood clots so it stops us from bleeding.
To think of the internal battle that goes down every time our immune system is under attack.
Our God pays attention to detail, down to the last cell.
We are truly fearfully and wonderfully made.
Taking in the artistry of the Lord.
Wow.
Somedays I could just watch my finger for an hour.
To see the muscles it takes to move my finger.
Or to look at the eye.
And the precision of the eyelid.
The eyelashes.
To think about all the parts of the ear.
To swallow, and think of all the parts of the digestive system.
To breathe and think about my lungs.
To run, and feel the blood pumping through my veins to and from my heart.
To feel my pulse.
To know that I'm alive, and that God is to thank for that.
Wow.
To look at my hand, and examine my cells.
To think of the adaptability that our body has.
To think about the way our skin adapts to the sun.
To think of the way our blood clots so it stops us from bleeding.
To think of the internal battle that goes down every time our immune system is under attack.
Our God pays attention to detail, down to the last cell.
We are truly fearfully and wonderfully made.
Weather or Not, Here I Come
Weather or Not, Here I Come
Weather.
It affects my moods like there's no tomorrow.
Yesterday I was sad. It was cloudy and rainy.
Today I was overjoyed. It was sunny and beautiful.
Oh boy.
I hope the weather's nice for the rest of my life.
Hah.
It affects my moods like there's no tomorrow.
Yesterday I was sad. It was cloudy and rainy.
Today I was overjoyed. It was sunny and beautiful.
Oh boy.
I hope the weather's nice for the rest of my life.
Hah.
Hedges & Hearts
Hedges & Hearts
 |
| "You may have the key, but first you must cut through the ivy." |
I drew this today and wrote the caption without really thinking about it, but when I looked at it - it kind of made sense.
I put a lot of hedges and ivy around my heart. It's just something I've realized, that if you really want to get to the core of who I am - you're going to have to cut down some ivy and forge through some hedges, regardless of whether or not you have the key. You're going to look kind of dumb standing in front of a massive maze of hedge with a key, because let's face it. You have some gardening to do first.
Keys don't cut down hedges that have taken years to grow.
The Here and Now
The Here and Now
Something I've been learning recently is to trust God.
Normally me trusting God goes something like this:
"Hey God, I trust you, but could you just show me who I'm going to marry?"
or "Hey God, I trust you, but could you just show me where I'm going to live in a couple years?"
or "Hey God, I trust you, but could you just give me a picture of my future?"
In reality, these thoughts show the depth of my mistrust.
Not only would any of those prayers being answered distract me from my purpose,
but it would keep me from doing God's will for me in this very moment.
Instead of asking God what His purpose for my whole life is, or for my future,
I should instead be asking God what He wants me to be doing right now.
I should be asking God what His purpose is for me in this moment.
In this hour. In this day.
Tomorrow will worry about itself.
I shouldn't be wasting days waiting for the next day, or the weekend,
or living for the next time I get to see my family.
I should be living each moment as the blessing it is.
Fulfilling my purpose on earth, by seeking God's mission for me in each hour,
with each breath, with each step I take.
I should constantly be communing with God, so that I don't stray far off the path.
Maybe I'll take one wrong step, but if I'm constantly talking to God about it -
He'll redirect me, so it doesn't become many steps off course.
From now on I'll be praying, with each breath, that God would use me for His purpose.
That I would fulfill the mission that He has for my every hour,
and be living a life that's in sync with the desires of God's heart.
Normally me trusting God goes something like this:
"Hey God, I trust you, but could you just show me who I'm going to marry?"
or "Hey God, I trust you, but could you just show me where I'm going to live in a couple years?"
or "Hey God, I trust you, but could you just give me a picture of my future?"
In reality, these thoughts show the depth of my mistrust.
Not only would any of those prayers being answered distract me from my purpose,
but it would keep me from doing God's will for me in this very moment.
Instead of asking God what His purpose for my whole life is, or for my future,
I should instead be asking God what He wants me to be doing right now.
I should be asking God what His purpose is for me in this moment.
In this hour. In this day.
Tomorrow will worry about itself.
I shouldn't be wasting days waiting for the next day, or the weekend,
or living for the next time I get to see my family.
I should be living each moment as the blessing it is.
Fulfilling my purpose on earth, by seeking God's mission for me in each hour,
with each breath, with each step I take.
I should constantly be communing with God, so that I don't stray far off the path.
Maybe I'll take one wrong step, but if I'm constantly talking to God about it -
He'll redirect me, so it doesn't become many steps off course.
From now on I'll be praying, with each breath, that God would use me for His purpose.
That I would fulfill the mission that He has for my every hour,
and be living a life that's in sync with the desires of God's heart.
Love {A Letter from God}
Love {A Letter from God}
{A Letter from God}
What do you know of love, but what I've taught you?
What do you know of love, but what I've shown you?
You don't know love if you don't know Me.
For I am love.
I define love.
I am the deepest essence of love.
Love in it's purest form.
Not these trashy movies.
Not those lyrics.
Not that whisper of a marriage.
Not the broken love of this world.
Those are knock-offs.
Fake.
Cheap.
They may satisfy your thirst for a moment, but I offer you the Living Water - you'll never thirst for love again.
My love satisfies.
It sustains.
It overflows.
It covers a multitude of sins.
It's selfless.
It's perfect.
It's real.
My love is what love was created to be.
Don't fill up on the fake love of this world,
but on the perfect love I offer.
Still don't see my love?
Look around you.
Look at the trees.
Look at the birds.
Look at the grass.
Look at the beauty in my creation.
Look at the plants.
Look at the Gospel.
I gave my only son to die for you.
If that doesn't show my love...
I love you.
Let me take your hand and lead you along the river of life.
Let me wipe away your tears.
Let me hold you through the night.
Let me guide you.
Let me steer you.
Let me lead you.
Will it always be easy?
No.
Love never is - but I know what's best for you.
I will never leave you.
I will never forsake you.
For you, my child, are loved.
Love,
God
What do you know of love, but what I've taught you?
What do you know of love, but what I've shown you?
You don't know love if you don't know Me.
For I am love.
I define love.
I am the deepest essence of love.
Love in it's purest form.
Not these trashy movies.
Not those lyrics.
Not that whisper of a marriage.
Not the broken love of this world.
Those are knock-offs.
Fake.
Cheap.
They may satisfy your thirst for a moment, but I offer you the Living Water - you'll never thirst for love again.
My love satisfies.
It sustains.
It overflows.
It covers a multitude of sins.
It's selfless.
It's perfect.
It's real.
My love is what love was created to be.
Don't fill up on the fake love of this world,
but on the perfect love I offer.
Still don't see my love?
Look around you.
Look at the trees.
Look at the birds.
Look at the grass.
Look at the beauty in my creation.
Look at the plants.
Look at the Gospel.
I gave my only son to die for you.
If that doesn't show my love...
I love you.
Let me take your hand and lead you along the river of life.
Let me wipe away your tears.
Let me hold you through the night.
Let me guide you.
Let me steer you.
Let me lead you.
Will it always be easy?
No.
Love never is - but I know what's best for you.
I will never leave you.
I will never forsake you.
For you, my child, are loved.
Love,
God
Breathing
Breathing
Breathing.
Oh, how often I take breathing for granted.
Until one day I struggle to breathe.
I have a cold, I run too fast, and asthma and my sickness collide -
as the world shuts down for a moment as I gasp for breath,
and as my vision clouds and threatens to take me down.
In that moment, I am thankful for the quick intake of icy air that follows those moments of panic.
After those moments, I scarcely take a breath without thanking the Lord that it's not my last.
Shouldn't I live every breath like this?
Constantly aware that my life is but a vapor in the wind?
Life is short.
Why am I not living a life radical for Christ?
Why do I let a day go by where I pass up an opportunity to talk about my Savior?
Life is a precious gift,
and time on this earth is short.
Shouldn't I want others to be able to partake in the life to come?
Should I passively give up opportunities to share the good news, never giving that person a chance to accept or reject Christ?
My life is not my own.
To live is Christ, to die is gain.
I desire to live a life that worthy of the gospel.
I desire to live a life that emulates Christ.
I desire God.
I desire God more than anything.
I desire God more than food.
I desire God more than breathing.
I desire God more than life itself.
I desire to breathe each breath like it's my last.
Oh, how often I take breathing for granted.
Until one day I struggle to breathe.
I have a cold, I run too fast, and asthma and my sickness collide -
as the world shuts down for a moment as I gasp for breath,
and as my vision clouds and threatens to take me down.
In that moment, I am thankful for the quick intake of icy air that follows those moments of panic.
After those moments, I scarcely take a breath without thanking the Lord that it's not my last.
Shouldn't I live every breath like this?
Constantly aware that my life is but a vapor in the wind?
Life is short.
Why am I not living a life radical for Christ?
Why do I let a day go by where I pass up an opportunity to talk about my Savior?
Life is a precious gift,
and time on this earth is short.
Shouldn't I want others to be able to partake in the life to come?
Should I passively give up opportunities to share the good news, never giving that person a chance to accept or reject Christ?
My life is not my own.
To live is Christ, to die is gain.
I desire to live a life that worthy of the gospel.
I desire to live a life that emulates Christ.
I desire God.
I desire God more than anything.
I desire God more than food.
I desire God more than breathing.
I desire God more than life itself.
I desire to breathe each breath like it's my last.
Mountains & Valleys
Mountains & Valleys
Sometimes I wish my faith was just a line, instead of this up and down roller coaster.
There are weeks on end where I can't help but overflow with the Joy that God gives me in everyday life.
On the flip side there are weeks where I can't feel His presences.
It's through these valleys in my faith, that I learn the most.
It's significantly harder to trust God when things aren't all going well.
When the sun isn't necessarily shining.
When exhaustion and the world seem to bring you down.
But, God uses these times to teach the harder lessons.
To teach me to trust Him in all things - not just the good.
To teach me to be broken with others and share my hardships and struggles.
To truly show me the depth of my sinfulness, and therefore compare it to His AMAZING grace.
When I am completely aware of my sinfulness and the darkness that comes alongside it, how much greater is the light and beauty of His grace, and how undeserving I am!
These valleys are hard, but God has been showing me how I've grown.
Instead of becoming complacent when things aren't good, or turning away for a time -
instead it brings me closer to Him.
It's in these times that I find that I need to fight to tread water.
It's in these times that I find that I need to rely on His strength to get me through.
It's in these times that I become more and more aware of my own weakness.
It's in these times that I see more fully my brokenness, and the beauty that can come from being vulnerable.
It's in these times that I realize how much closer I've grown with the Lord.
It's in these times that I see how much I rely on Him. How much I love Him. How much I sit in communion with Him.
It's in these times that I see the multitude of ways to grow in my faith.
Through talking with other believers.
Through studying scripture.
Through sermons.
Through prayer.
Through being completely open and real with God, instead of hiding my feelings and struggles.
Oh, the beauty of being broken before the foot of the cross.
Wow, what a wonderful Savior!
The depth of my sin is great in comparison to the light of His grace, but He is good and faithful.
And He forgives my sins and cleanses me of all unrighteousness.
It's in these times that I see the brokenness of the world, and it keeps a longing in my heart for the day when I will leave this wicked and twisted world and be able to gaze on the face of the Lord and praise Him for the rest of eternity.
God is good.
He is faithful.
He is powerful.
I am unworthy.
He loves me anyways.
I am so blessed.
There are weeks on end where I can't help but overflow with the Joy that God gives me in everyday life.
On the flip side there are weeks where I can't feel His presences.
It's through these valleys in my faith, that I learn the most.
It's significantly harder to trust God when things aren't all going well.
When the sun isn't necessarily shining.
When exhaustion and the world seem to bring you down.
But, God uses these times to teach the harder lessons.
To teach me to trust Him in all things - not just the good.
To teach me to be broken with others and share my hardships and struggles.
To truly show me the depth of my sinfulness, and therefore compare it to His AMAZING grace.
When I am completely aware of my sinfulness and the darkness that comes alongside it, how much greater is the light and beauty of His grace, and how undeserving I am!
These valleys are hard, but God has been showing me how I've grown.
Instead of becoming complacent when things aren't good, or turning away for a time -
instead it brings me closer to Him.
It's in these times that I find that I need to fight to tread water.
It's in these times that I find that I need to rely on His strength to get me through.
It's in these times that I become more and more aware of my own weakness.
It's in these times that I see more fully my brokenness, and the beauty that can come from being vulnerable.
It's in these times that I realize how much closer I've grown with the Lord.
It's in these times that I see how much I rely on Him. How much I love Him. How much I sit in communion with Him.
It's in these times that I see the multitude of ways to grow in my faith.
Through talking with other believers.
Through studying scripture.
Through sermons.
Through prayer.
Through being completely open and real with God, instead of hiding my feelings and struggles.
Oh, the beauty of being broken before the foot of the cross.
Wow, what a wonderful Savior!
The depth of my sin is great in comparison to the light of His grace, but He is good and faithful.
And He forgives my sins and cleanses me of all unrighteousness.
It's in these times that I see the brokenness of the world, and it keeps a longing in my heart for the day when I will leave this wicked and twisted world and be able to gaze on the face of the Lord and praise Him for the rest of eternity.
God is good.
He is faithful.
He is powerful.
I am unworthy.
He loves me anyways.
I am so blessed.
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