Mountains & Valleys

Sometimes I wish my faith was just a line, instead of this up and down roller coaster.
There are weeks on end where I can't help but overflow with the Joy that God gives me in everyday life.
On the flip side there are weeks where I can't feel His presences.
It's through these valleys in my faith, that I learn the most.
It's significantly harder to trust God when things aren't all going well.
When the sun isn't necessarily shining.
When exhaustion and the world seem to bring you down.
But, God uses these times to teach the harder lessons.
To teach me to trust Him in all things - not just the good.
To teach me to be broken with others and share my hardships and struggles.
To truly show me the depth of my sinfulness, and therefore compare it to His AMAZING grace.
When I am completely aware of my sinfulness and the darkness that comes alongside it, how much greater is the light and beauty of His grace, and how undeserving I am!
These valleys are hard, but God has been showing me how I've grown.
Instead of becoming complacent when things aren't good, or turning away for a time -
instead it brings me closer to Him.
It's in these times that I find that I need to fight to tread water.
It's in these times that I find that I need to rely on His strength to get me through.
It's in these times that I become more and more aware of my own weakness.
It's in these times that I see more fully my brokenness, and the beauty that can come from being vulnerable.
It's in these times that I realize how much closer I've grown with the Lord.
It's in these times that I see how much I rely on Him. How much I love Him. How much I sit in communion with Him.
It's in these times that I see the multitude of ways to grow in my faith.
Through talking with other believers.
Through studying scripture.
Through sermons.
Through prayer.
Through being completely open and real with God, instead of hiding my feelings and struggles.
Oh, the beauty of being broken before the foot of the cross.
Wow, what a wonderful Savior!
The depth of my sin is great in comparison to the light of His grace, but He is good and faithful.
And He forgives my sins and cleanses me of all unrighteousness.
It's in these times that I see the brokenness of the world, and it keeps a longing in my heart for the day when I will leave this wicked and twisted world and be able to gaze on the face of the Lord and praise Him for the rest of eternity.
God is good.
He is faithful.
He is powerful.
I am unworthy.
He loves me anyways.
I am so blessed.

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