As a woman who strives to honor and seek after Christ, this statement may come as a shock to you. I'm not waiting for my future husband. Now before you get your undies in a wad, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about time.
Ladies, I love that you're protecting your hearts. I am too, but along the way we've reached a point where we believe that we deserve to be blessed. We've ended up putting our future husbands on a pedestal, expecting them to meet our criteria - to laugh at our jokes, to listen to us talk for hours, to watch all the sappy romance movies and hold us while we cry, and so on and so forth. We so easily compile lists of things we want in our husbands. Now I'm not saying that's bad, by no means - there are definitely things that I desire in a husband that are extremely important, but I think when we start to make lists that are hundreds of qualities long we've strayed from the original idea. We're setting a standard of perfection. We assume that since we've been faithful in our waiting, God will give us exactly what we want. A perfect prince charming. But women, men are human too - we're all fallen. We fall short of the glory of God on a daily, if not hourly, basis. So women, please be careful when you're making your lists. Seek God. By coming into relationships with these expectations of deserving perfection, we're sabotaging them early on - no man can fulfill the deep desire you have to be cherished. No man can fill the place in your heart that aches to be loved deeply. If you seek a mortal man to fill that void, you're only going to come out of that relationship brokenhearted and cynical. As much as I'll love my husband someday if I get married, He's going to fail me. Many times. Because we're human, and we fall short.
Waiting. My issue is with the wording. I'm not waiting. Waiting implies that I'm not living my life to the fullest in this moment. Waiting is assuming that since we're seeking God now, we'll deserve to be rewarded down the road. Waiting. I'm not waiting. I'm living. I don't want my husband to wait, either. I want Him to glorify God, but I want Him to live. I don't want him to waste the time he's been given right now waiting for me. How can I be fully focused on glorifying and praising my Creator if my eyes are fixed inwardly on my own seeming "persecution" for being single at this moment instead of on His glory? Ladies. Singleness is a gift. If there's anything I've learned this year, it's that. I am joyful and glad to be single in this season. I'm not saying my desire to get married is any less. I'm not saying I don't still struggle with longing to be cherished by a man from time to time, but the times I've gotten to spend with my sweet Jesus, unabashedly basking in His glory - I wouldn't trade them for prince charming himself. This a season that you can seek God with all that you have.
God doesn't call us to wait. He doesn't want us to be counting down the days until we'll meet our husbands. Our God is a jealous God, give Him your attention. Allow Him to cherish you. As much as I'd love to say that someday I'll meet a guy that will "complete me", I'm not sure that's true. I'm a broken person. He'll be a broken person. I'm not sure that two broken pieces always make a whole. Most likely, we won't be broken in the same ways. The only way to find true wholeness is through Christ. HE completes me. By putting my life on pause until I get married, I'm wasting the precious time God has given me right now. God is more than enough. THIS is eternal life - to know Jesus Christ. Not "my life will actually start when I get married".
Women. Please be careful. Guard your hearts. Don't chase men. Don't pine for the future. Live in the season God has placed you in right now. By living with our eyes focused on our potential future marriages we're sabotaging our time right now. We're missing out on the blessings God is giving us in these moments when we've got our eyes on what we think we deserve. I don't know about you, but I don't deserve anything.
My challenge is this: instead of "waiting" live. Seek Christ. Cherish Him. Enjoy this season of life. Maybe you'll get married, maybe you won't - but don't let that be the end of the world. Find your identity in Him, not in your future spouse. Put on your armor. Fight for your joy.
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