Do you ever have those times when you miss past seasons in your walk with Christ?
Man. If I could go back for a few hours to the season I was in last year.
Sitting in my window seat, looking outside, seeking God's wisdom and losing myself in His infinite glory. Dancing in the field as the sun rose. Breakfast dates with Jesus outside, getting lost in His magnificent creation. It's not that I don't still do these things, He's just teaching me different things. There's a tinge of sadness that accompanies me. A deeper understanding of the pain that comes from this world. A realization that this world is not my home. A constant thirst for my Savior's return. ((John 16:22 --> So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.))
I love my time with my Jesus, but sometimes I long for past seasons of joy and naivety.
Right now, I'm wrestling with God. Seeking His wisdom and heart in situations. In things that I'm not sure about. Areas where I don't have all the answers. It's easy for me, being surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ, to assume that I agree with everything others think without seeking God's heart myself. Maybe I don't agree. Maybe I'm not sure. Maybe God's heart is somewhere else? So, I'm seeking. And wrestling. Asking God for help to separate my earthly ideas with His heart for His children. Lord, reveal Your heart to me.
So I seek. I plead. I trust.
Right now, I'm learning to trust God. Above all else. In situations where I feel discouraged or like I'm losing control, to step aside and hand God the reigns. Freedom.
I'm ready for summer. For more time to seek. For more time to learn and grow.
I'm grateful. For God's mercy. For His providence. For His strength. I'm so blessed by my sweet Jesus, as He shows me that He cherishes me. I'm overwhelmed by His unconditional love and ability to speak into all situations. When you listen, He speaks. I'm learning to rest and be still in His presence. What a beautiful lesson.
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