I went into this summer with a completely different mindset. Instead of being excited for friends, seeing campers grow, or worship - I wanted to make this summer different. My prayer from the beginning has been that God would challenge and grow me in new ways each week.
Matthew 21:21-22 --Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”Lifeguard training week was crazy. It was kind of hard to be at camp without campers, 2 weeks away from having campers, and knowing that none of my close friends came for another 5 days. I'm not going to lie, it was a long week - but we made it! It was great rest, though, as I had time to really dig into the word and get filled up so that by the time staff training came around I was bursting to pour into campers. Staff training seemed really long to me since I'd already been at camp for a week, but once again I made it and was thankful for the time God gave me to go deeper into the word each morning without the added exhaustion of campers so I was spiritually filled when they finally came.
During staff training we talked about the 4 deep idols. So after praying each morning that God would challenge me the first week, I found that I was in horse camp. I don't really like horses, so I was excited for the challenge and to see how God would grow me. However, when we got to the staff meeting they asked all the counselors staying in the wagons to stand up. So we all confusedly stood up and they told us there had been a mistake and we were in horse wilderness instead. We had half an hour to throw all of the stuff we'd need for a week in a plastic bin. I look back and laugh that my only care was that I had just bought a new carton of strawberries and I didn't want them to waste, so I quickly packed then went and we shoveled strawberries into our mouths. Honestly, as hard as I thought that week would be -- it was amazing. God worked in so many ways, and it was overall just a completely different camp experience. If I work at camp again next summer I pray that I get to counsel horse wilderness again, because it was an awesome week. That week all idols were suppressed and not an issue. My power idol was taken away because there were 6 counselors, so each decision had to be run by each one before it was made so no one was in power. My control idol was taken away because there was virtually no schedule at all, we just kind of did whatever we wanted to and went by a day to day hour by hour "we'll see" schedule. Comfort - we slept in tents. We didn't shower. We smelled gross. There's no comfort like a shower and a spritz of good smelling spray. Approval -- well, we smelled bad and we wore the same clothes all week. No approval there. All in all, it was a great and growing week.
The second week I went into it thinking God was going to teach me patience. Boy, was I wrong. Not only did I learn that I will never ever be able to guess what God is going to do, but I learned to rely on God's strength in a completely different way. We had a lot of homesickness on Monday and a girl went home from it. By Monday night I broke down during worship and had to leave chapel and just get a grip on myself. I ended up pleading that God would just take over the week, at that point I really realized how much I couldn't do without His strength.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 -- But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.God really worked through that week, and I loved my campers very much. They asked a lot of questions, and God gave me answers that I know I could have never known without Him.
Week 3 -- horse camp with Renae Lau. I love her, so much. That week God taught me that sometimes I'm not going to see Him working through me at all. I didn't really connect with my campers, and they were super independent and wanted nothing to do with Renae and me. It wasn't that they didn't like us, they were just independent and self sufficient. It was definitely hard for me to give to God, but I gained peace through the knowledge that He was working and that there will be weeks where I don't see the harvest or growth. At the closing ceremony the girls seemed genuinely sad to see us go, but it was definitely a tough connection week.
This last week was a short week of 2-3rd graders. We had a couple fire crackers who tried my patience hardcore sometimes. On top of relying on God and failing from time to time to show them compassion and patience, I was dealing with some deep family issues and just the pain from that. God definitely taught me to just come to Him in my times of need in prayer and trust Him to do what's best. It's hard for me to understand that sometimes He doesn't do things when I want them done and in the way I ask for them, but it always ends up being way better than I could ever ask for or imagine. God is so much greater than I am, and His knowledge is infinitely greater. Trusting Him to know what's best is something I'm continuing to work on.
So that's been the first 5 weeks of my summer so far! I have two weeks left -- Junior high and High school, so prayer would be greatly appreciated as I continue to pray that God would challenge and grow me in crazy ways in my last couple weeks at camp this summer.
