Warm Memories

Today was just crazy.
Not only did I have an insanely amazing morning,
but God continued to show me His hand of blessing throughout the day.
The words in my mind everytime I started to worry were "I'm the beloved of the King"
and those worries and cares of the world just passed by.
Oh, what Joy I found in the peace of knowing that all that mattered today was Jesus.
Shouldn't every day be that way?
Instead of worrying about getting my homework done,
I just smiled - and looked at it as an opportunity instead of a task.
Instead of stressing about getting to night class on time -
I just smiled, and knew that as long as I didn't stall,
I'd be just fine.
God held me in His arms today, and I could feel the warmth of His embrace with every step I took.
I'm pretty sure if you saw me today, I looked ridiculous.
I was glowing. Smiling. Spinning.
Mmm. To love the Creator of the world is a beautiful thing!
What's even better is that His love is different than the broken love we see here on earth.
So, so different.
I've been going through my past this last week,
and dealing with pain that I've pushed away for years -
bringing it back up has been no parade -
but they're emotions and things I need to deal with before I can move on and live each day for that day.
So I've been thinking a lot. Dwelling. Wrestling.
Talking to God. Crying out to Him, why did this happen, Lord?
But today He gave me peace.
After a week of torment and pain - to the point where I couldn't sleep because my heart hurt so much,
God pulled me out of the depths and into His embrace.
He took my wounded and bleeding heart, and stitched it up.
Then He poured His love into it, warming it to the core.
Oh, the scar tissue I've had to work through to try to get to the core this last week -
but I knew that if I didn't work through my deep brokenness, I'd never have a chance to be repaired. To be made whole.
So I pushed through it, with God's help, and I'm learning to forgive and move on.
A book I'm reading (Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge) says that forgiving isn't saying it didn't matter or that I deserved it anyways, but it's a way to acknowledge that it hurt me deeply, it was wrong, but that I've released them and given it to God.
So that's where I'm at.
With my new stitched up heart,
filled to the brim with the perfect love that only comes from my True Love.
I pray that each day I can keep my focus on God,
that every day I can wake up and know that I am God's beloved.
I am a daughter of the King.
And that I have the peace that passes all understanding.

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