Trust

I've been learning lately that trusting God isn't easy.
You'd think it would be,
I mean - who doesn't want the creator of the world in charge of their lives?
He obviously knows what's best.

Trusting God is easier in the good times.
When I'm happy, when all the world is right and good in my eyes -
it's easier for me to say "alright God, you got this."
But it's so easy for me to snatch my life back into my own hands when things go wrong.

The truth is - that isn't trust at all.
That's like telling someone they can drive,
and then the minute their hands touch the wheel making them move to the passenger seat.
That's like telling someone you love them,
But you'll only be married to them every other Tuesday. For an hour.

I think it's hard for me to accept.
That sometimes, bad things happen.
I don't understand - and in some instances, I never will.

When I'm driving through the pouring rain,
and visibility is non-existent,
I need to hand over the wheel.

It's in those moments,
when tragedy strikes,
and you're left speechless.
Holding your friend in your arms,
as she sobs as if the world is ending.
Those are the moments that I realize I can't be in control.
And I don't want to be.
It's in those moments that I realize that I really have to trust God.
Not just halfway, or three quarters,
but 100%.
I have to give him the good and the bad.
And trust that He knows what He's doing.
That someday I might look back and understand why.
But until then to not let myself get shaken by this world.

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