Yes, I will strive to be more like God and therefore Holy, which is a part of the sanctification process - but I will not reach that perfect state until I see my Creator's face.
For most people this isn't a big deal.
I mean, duh Aunica, didn't you know? We can't be perfect.
But my whole life I've strived for this goal.
Subconsciously thinking that when I'm perfect, then I will deserve the love of others.
Believing that I can't help others if I'm not whole,
when in fact - God can use my brokenness.
I've had to reconcile to the fact that I may never be whole.
Because of my sin nature and past I will always be broken,
it's how I deal with this brokenness that matters.
Joy comes from the Lord, this I know.
Happiness is a choice.
Joy is a command.
I will always have to rely on God's strength.
I will never be able to do it on my own.
I will never truly be the woman I want to be,
I will instead be the woman God created me to be.
Perfection.
It still hovers over my head as a constant reminder of my inadequacy.
But instead of enslaving me,
it simply reminds me to rely on God's strength and not my own.
Teaching me to constantly give over control to my Father in Heaven.
Maybe this is nothing new for you.
Maybe it is.
I just know that for me, it's life changing.
The fact that I'm not expected to be perfect rattles me to the core,
as my striving slows until I stand still in the presence of the Lord.
I'm not perfect.
I'm nowhere near perfection.
I never will be.
God's love isn't conditional.
It doesn't act upon the level of perfection,
the number of times you quote bible verses in a day,
or the times you go to church instead of sleeping in.
God's love is unconditional.
I'm not a slave to perfection anymore.
Instead, I quote the bible because I want to and by the promptings of the Spirit.
I go to church because I desire to learn about God.
It's not an obligation, it's a desire.
God uses broken vessels for His glory.
His power can be magnified through my weaknesses.
When I am weak, He is strong.
So basically - He's always strong.
I'm always weak.
He's in control.
I'm not.
He loves me even when I'm not perfect.
Wow.
That might take a few days to process.
Or a lifetime.
Truly unconditional love.
Our God is WAY too good.
I am so unworthy, but He loves me anyways.
Ephesians 1:4
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.
