The other half of me wants to be older. To be married. To just have that one person you can always turn to and talk to. That person you can laugh with and cry with. That person to depend on and who can depend on you. Someone to cook for. Clean for. Count down the minutes until he gets home. Someone to watch movies with. To be silly with. To have deep spiritual talks with. To fold laundry with. To pray with. To go running with. To fly kites with. To go to the zoo. To just have that someone that will always be there. But, at the same time, I need to recognize that God can also be that person. That He can fill that hole in my heart until it is His time. That He can take that place. I can laugh with him and cry with Him. He's always there for me. He listens to me. He teaches me. He loves me. Sometimes, I just want to be older. Or those others times I already talked about when I wish I was still a kid. When I was a kid I always wanted to be older. I feel like some of that time was wasted because of that.
Then there's yet another part of me that is happy where I am. Content to let God take me where He may. To enjoy each and every moment I have on this earth, but recognize that this isn't my home. That I need not store up treasures here, because in all honesty - you don't bring anything with you when you die. So why waste time on things that don't have any eternal value? Invest in people, not cars or shoes or the stock market. College brings a whole new chapter in life. And I'm as ready for it as I'll ever be. I recognize the fact that I'm scared. It's new. It's different. Life will never be the same again. My home will no longer be my home. I'll never get the opportunity to spend this much time with my family. My friends may change. But I find security and peace in the fact that no matter what happens - God never changes. He is unchanging, and that is a very comforting fact. No matter how uncomfortable the circumstances. No matter how scary. No matter how different or difficult. God is there. He will always be there. He has always been there. And He is there now.
Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."
