Uncategories Reflections & Lessons {Summer 2013}

Reflections & Lessons {Summer 2013}

Published on 4:01 PM By Aunica
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Maybe it's the fact that I'm tired. Maybe it's all the moody music. Maybe it can be attributed to spending the majority of my summer with a thinker. Whatever the reason, I've been spending a lot of time processing and reflecting this summer. It's been weird to delve into my soul and end up somewhere foreign, realizing I'm a way different person now than I was a few months ago.

I'm not sure if these differences are permanent or just a reaction to my job this summer.
- My soul feels peaceful and at rest. There used to be days when I'd feel some form of manic, allowing stress to control me - running around like crazy and feeling overwhelmed to the point of tears - but no longer. I'm a lot less hyper. I feel older. My soul feels heavier. I feel a constant sense of peace that can solely be attributed to the Spirit working. I'm comfortable. I'm calm. I'm real. Even when things are crazy, I don't feel stressed - I feel the calm and peace that can only come from a deeper understanding of and communion with the Father.

- I think a lot more. I process things as I encounter them instead of pushing them down to deal with later. I'm pretty sure this change is a healthy one, it's just weird. I'm more apt to ask myself how I'm feeling in the moment instead of waiting for weeks to pass without realizing that I'm not doing well or that a situation affected me in a certain way. I guess you could say I'm becoming more in tune with my feelings.

- This summer I learned to be myself. I learned the beauty of being feminine. The rest that comes from being comfortable and cared for. I learned to be meek. I learned to allow myself to be weak. I don't have to be strong. I don't have to have all the answers. I can be quiet if I don't have anything to say. I can fade into the background if I want to. I don't have to be loud. I don't have to fill the silence. I'm a lot less apt to use a loud voice. I'm a lot less apt to speak without thinking it through.

- I'm more okay with being alone now. Before this summer I almost feared being alone. I feared going places alone. But, after a summer without campers, I've learned to be comfortable with going places by myself. It's weird to be okay with anonymity. It's weird to think about posting things on twitter, facebook, or instagram - but stopping, and finding rest in the fact that people don't know all the things I do. I'm finding peace with not constantly telling people about my life. I'm content and comfortable with who I am, so I no longer feel the need to prove to people that I'm hip, cool, or whatever else.

- I still love my sweet Jesus more than anything. He becomes sweeter to me daily, to the point where I can't imagine loving Him more. Maybe i won't love him more, just deeper? I have a lifetime to find out. Praise Him for His providence. Praise Him for growing me and challenging me. Praise Him for working in my heart and making me new.

I'm eternally grateful.
Aunica

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