This summer has been a whirlwind. I've had some pretty dark days, when I wasn't sure things could get worse, and some days that were so filled with joy I thought I would burst.
Fear has always been something that's controlled me. Daily I come before the Lord and confess new found fears that influence me in my decisions. One particular fear I've struggled with this summer is the fear that, due to some past circumstances, I'll never be able to allow a man to love me - that because I don't feel like I deserve to be loved, I'll choose to be with someone who makes me unhappy. Believe me when I say I came before the Lord and pleaded with Him on many occasions to change my heart. To reveal to me His plan for me. To realign my sense of worth.
After a while, things got busy, and I forgot about it. This morning I was asking God to show me lessons He taught me or ways that He worked in me that I otherwise overlooked in the moment. Wow. Can we just talk about how awesome our God is? And how powerful? And how breathtaking? He provided people in my life this summer to show me love and to give me a glimpse of what marriage will be like. He showed me what it feels like to have someone you can trust no matter what. Someone you can find comfort in. Someone you can be completely real with. God gave me a glimpse of the goodness He has in store for the future. He calmed my fears, but told me to wait. It's not time yet. Praise God for His ability to speak into my heart in ways I could never have imagined possible.
I could never have imagined how God would work. To protect my heart, but reveal His purpose simultaneously. Praise Him. He provides for His children. Words can't even describe the depths of my gratitude.
Singleness is a gift. Praise God for this season of learning, growing, and joy.
Praise God. Praise God. Praise God.
Daily I ask God to provide joy. To remind me where my foundation lies. To reveal to me His purpose and providence. Praise God for His ability to speak into even the deepest parts of my heart. I could never have imagined the depths of a relationship with a relational God. He cares for me, deeply, and I in turn care for Him with every fiber of who I am. Praise Him for His patience when I am stubborn. Praise Him for His affection. Praise Him for His infinite power and ability to speak into all circumstances and situations.
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