Holidays always leave me nostalgic.
It's crazy to think how much has changed in the past year.
I've grown up a lot, that's for sure.
Freshman year.
Oh man.
Back when I didn't know who I was.
God has taught me so much over the past year.
Moments when your heart hurts for the younger version of yourself.
Sometimes I wonder, if it was possible to go back in time, if I would do it.
I can't pinpoint the day I started processing things,
the moment I stopped pushing my emotions into the deep,
but J-term was living hell.
If I'd known processing meant reliving every hard, painful moment of my life - I'd have done everything I could to find a way to keep my fake smile and surface level laughter.
Now that I'm through the majority of it and healing has come, however, I see the good in it.
I've been refined. I've been tested. I've endured. I've perservered.
I can see the beauty now through the pain, but it's taken a long time.
I'm a different version of myself.
Instead of trying to patch up the cracks, I let the light shine through them.
I'm open about my struggles.
I'm open about the past, the trials, & the pain.
I miss some parts of who I used to be, but I'm much more comfortable in my skin now.
I'm free.
The chains of the past no longer have a hold on me.
Satan's little whispered barbs don't stick as deeply.
My smile is genuine.
My Joy is complete in Christ.
It's not just in my head, it's in my heart.
The mask is off. I'm real with people.
Real talk. All the time.
I'd never have guessed it'd take so long for me to learn how to be honest about how I'm doing or what's going on.
Praise God for His incredible faithfulness! He alone is the anchor for my soul. He is my refuge. He is my strength. He is my shelter in the storm.
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