Flashback to freshman year of college.
You walk into a new building.
Full of excitement to meet new friends,
get to your new classes,
and open your new books.
You've chosen a major -
the path to your success in life.
Branding yourself as a
mathematician
artist
athlete
and the list goes on.
You think you know who you are,
or that you'll know by the time you get that signed paper
and a long list of bills
at the end of your time on those grounds.
But,
I can attest to the fact
that I still don't know
and I don't know if I'll ever know
what I'm supposed to do
now that school is over
forever.
I feel a strong urging
deep
deep
deep
in the places in my heart
that often get drowned out
by the chaos that surrounds me
in everyday life.
An urging to
GO
to travel
to explore
to experience
the people and cultures that my sweet Abba has created.
To learn more about His people
and in turn what brings Him joy.
I feel an urge to live life alongside others
who share the same desperation
that grips my heart.
The longing to KNOW God
to truly know Him.
Not to just show up to a building a few times a week
and shake hands with a few people
sing a song or two
and think about what's for lunch,
but to deeply and truly
seek the heart and passion
of the One who created all.
But where does this happen?
Where is my home?
Is my home amidst
tall stalks of green
or is my home in
the chilly city
or is my home
by the mango trees
and the people with the big smiles
who have nothing
and somehow everything
all at the same time.
I'm learning...
learning to find my home
in all of those places
and none at the same time.
To live in the gap
between my homes...
and in essence
find home within myself.
To find peace
in the chasm
while I seek and search
for what this lack of roots means.
