In the past week God has been revealing parts of His heart to me that I've longed to experience, but haven't before.
I wish I could stay in these moments, hours, or days when the beating of His heart overtakes any small thumps that could be heard from my own. These are the moments when my heart aches for His people. When my soul longs and pleads for their salvation. These are the moments I forget to breathe, and maybe, for a few moments, my heart syncs with His.
Moments when my eyes see the pain and the heartache that others experience, and the love that God has for them in their suffering. Moments when I see the futility in living for anything other than Christ. Moments when I see that my hope truly rests completely in Jesus.
As I'm overcome by the beauty and insanity that is grace, I'm deeply pained that so many people will never experience what I experience. They'll never know the embrace of Yahweh. They'll never call God their Abba. They won't spend hours and countless nights cradled in the arms of their heavenly Father. As God's heart yearns for His people, my heart burns for them. For those who wander through this life seeking to fill a void they'll never understand.
My heart breaks for those who will never understand the true joy that comes only from knowing Jesus.
As I lay here unable to sleep, my cry is that somehow, God would allow me to be used to bring understanding to people, and that I would trust deeply in His sovereignty. God is good. God is in control. He knows what He's doing.
Use me, Father. Teach me, Abba. Save your people, Yahweh.
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