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Who Am I?

Oh, how often I try to tell God what He can and can't do.
"God, there's no way you can help me get through ______."
"I know you want to, but you just can't help me in this."
"God, you could bless me in this way anytime now."
So often I tell God what to do.
I try to take control.
Do I not trust Him?
Do I not understand who He is?
Obviously not, because if I truly got who God is, I would never try to take control.
"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?"
{Jeremiah 32:27}

The answer is no. Nothing is too difficult for God.

Who am I to 'tell' God what He can and cannot do?

Our God is an Awesome God

In case you don't already know, God is really sweet.
This year I've been studying the Old Testament.
I definitely went into it with a bad attitude.
"Come on God, the OT is boring. I can't learn anything from them, and I definitely don't know enough about the culture to be able to interpret it and apply it."
So often I try to tell God what He can't do, when in reality - He can.
"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?" (Jeremiah 32:27)
Looking back on the year, I've been able to see the fruit of studying the Old Testament.
I've learned from the examples of faith.
I've seen pieces of myself threaded throughout the old testament.
I've been able to see God's heart in a bigger way - His heart for His people.
Wow. Our God is incredibly merciful and gracious.
I can't even handle it.
I think I literally stopped breathing for a few minutes.
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. Foreal.
Time and time again His people turn away.
They get distracted by idols, wealth, and taking control of their future.
It'd be so easy for me to scoff at them.
I mean, who can be that dumb?
To have the Creator standing in front of them with open arms offering to lead them?
I feel like the choice between Creator and the world would be an easy one, but sadly it isn't.
How often do I see God standing in front of me with open arms, and instead turn to my idols.
How often do I put other things before God?
It's so humbling to put myself in their shoes and realize, I'm no better.
Maybe the circumstances have changed a little, and my idols aren't necessarily golden statues, but I'm just as idolatrous as the Israelites and Judeans.
If I was God, I'd have given up looong ago.
But God is patient.
He is merciful.
He is good.
He pursues His people relentlessly.

Jeremiah 32:17-19 -
 “Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. You show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the parents’ sins into the laps of their children after them. Great and mighty God, whose name is the Lord Almighty, great are your purposes and mighty are your deeds. Your eyes are open to the ways of all mankind; you reward each person according to their conduct and as their deeds deserve.

Jeremiah 32:38-41 -
 They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me and that all will then go well for them and for their children after them.  I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.

Jeremiah 33:8-9 -
 I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.’

So easily God could have wiped them out.
So easily He could have given up and left them to their sin.
But, He didn't.
He pursued them.
God has a heart for His people.
He is a God of mercy and grace.
Wow. So. Unworthy.

Can I brag on my Lord?

Can I brag on my Lord?
What. A. Beautiful. Day.
I got to sleep in until noon.
I woke up, ate breakfast, and worked on design stuff,
then I went outside and enjoyed the sun.
Wowza. God is good.
The birds are chirping,
the sun is shining,
the grass is green,
there's a gentle breeze.
Mmm. May.
I love this time of year.
When I can just sit outside and breathe deeply of God's beautiful creation.
Man, what a beautiful world.
I can't handle how blessed I am to be able to partake in this beauty.
God is good, and He makes beautiful things.

Tick Tock

 I feel like the next week and a half is like an hour glass.
Half of me wants to shake it to make it go faster,
so I can just be packed and on my way home.
The other half of me, the half winning at this time,
watches the sand just so it takes longer - knowing 
that the minute I take my eyes off of it,
 the sand will be gone - 
and I'll be done with 
my time at Bethel,
and along with it won't see 
certain people for a long time.
So for now, I stare at the hour glass -
refusing to blink, refusing to let one grain of 
sand sink down without my knowledge.
However, watching sand in an hour glass is 
somewhat similar to watching grass grow.
While it makes it go slower, you spend all 
your time worrying about each grain of sand,
instead of enjoying the time you DO have.
It's a balance - and one I definitely don't have 
down yet. Here we go. Tick Tock.


Brake Time

It's finally starting to sink in.
In two weeks, I will be home.
I will have finished my last day at Bethel.
I will be packing for the summer.
I am a quad leader.
I am a transfer student.
I am leaving a place that I like, to be a student at a place I love.
It's bittersweet.
I know that NWC holds my major and some sweet friends,
but I've really enjoyed the friendships and community I've experienced at Bethel.
Sure, it's had its frustrations.
Therve been days when I've counted down until I'm done,
but at the end of the year - I've grown here.
I've lived life here.
I'm had fellowship with some sweet people.
It's weird to think that I won't live here next year.
Somehow, that makes it harder to leave.
I love college.
College in general is just great.
I like learning.
I like studying.
I like friends.
I enjoy college a lot.
I thrive here.
What happens when I go home?
What happens at camp?
These are the questions I ask myself.
Will I truly still see these people?
I know that, as much as I'd like to, I won't be friends with most of them.
Many of the friends I've lived life with during my time at Bethel are people I will never see again.
And that is the main reason it's hard for me to think of leaving here.
I know in my heart that I'm supposed to go to NWC.
In that decision, I have major peace.
It's just the 'getting there' process that's tough.
I'll make it.
I'll survive.
It's going to hurt.
But - it's for the best.
And hey, who ever said life would be easy -
that all decisions would be a piece of cake and a pat on the back?
As much as I'd like to pretend this one will be easy,
like ripping a band aid off super quickly,
it's going to sting for a long time.
My only consolation is the knowledge that i can still visit.
It won't be the same, but it's all I have to cling onto these days.

Camp is coming. Crazy.
For the first time in my life, it's snuck up on me.
I'm certain it still will not have sunk in until I'm driving down the dirt road on May 23rd.
Not only is camp coming - but I'm a quad leader.
Wow, that makes me feel old.
I still remember my first day of camp, looking up at my counselors as if they were the wisest ladies on the planet, and the coolest for that matter.
Do kids look at me the same way?
Being on the opposite side of the looking glass, I'm not disillusioned into thinking I'm cool or wise.
Far from it.
Nothing this summer can be done without God as my rock and my cornerstone.
He is in control.
I am humbled by the knowledge that nothing will be done by me, but all by Him.
It's a gift.
A privileged.
An honor to be able to serve at camp this summer.
Mmm. May His will be done.
And may I not get in the way of His handiwork.
It's most likely my last summer at camp.
Another last.
Another hard goodbye.
Oh boy.
I'm growing up, that's for sure.
College. Quad Leading. Life.
Here we go.

Sanctification & Romans 13

sanc·ti·fi·ca·tion
noun \ˌsaŋ(k)-tə-fə-ˈkā-shən\
1.To set apart for sacred use; consecrate.
2. To make holy; purify.
 
<-- Romans 13:14 --> 
Put on Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. (NASB)
Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. (NIV)
Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. (ESV)

<-- Romans 13:12  -->
The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of the darkness and put on the armor of light. (NASB)

(( Put on Christ. Put on the armor of light. Be sanctified. ))



Beautiful Moments

I love those moments.
When all you can do is simply stand in surrender to the Lord.
When all you can do is lay your burdens down at the foot of the cross.
When all you can do is love the Lord so much that it hurts.
When God speaks directly into your heart.
Mmm. So. Good.

Get behind me, Satan

I can always tell when I'm starting to get closer to the center of God's will for my life.
How, you might ask.
Satan strengthens his attacks.
Instead of his taunting being a dull roar, it becomes a deep bellow.
He tears the thin veil that keeps his attacks at bay, and goes at it full throttle.
He pulls out the big guns, getting at the things that are closest to my heart.
This week he's attacked my heart.
My family.
My major.
My sleep.
My body.
My emotions.
My relationship with God.
When I seek after God, Satan seeks to tear me down in any way possible.

This time, the bad news isn't mine, however. It's his.
The thing is, I'm learning to rely on God's strength and not my own.
I've come to recognize my own weakness and my deep need for God's help in everyday life.
If I'd been relying on myself, I'd be devastated.
Like when you build a tower with building blocks, then knock it over.
Only this time, there was a net to catch all my pieces.

Satan sure is annoying.
I'll give him that.
He's persistent.
He isn't going to give up easily.
But I have my armor.
And I've been training.
Let's go.

2 Corinthians 10:1-6 -->
By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away! I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete. 


Ephesians 10:11-16 -->
 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Modesty: A defense of self respect

Someone recently brought it up that the word modesty is in the bible less than 5 times, whereas the word lust is in the bible way more than 5 times.
While I can't say for certain, I'd guess she was trying to give a defense for girls dressing immodestly, somehow pinning it on the guys that it's their fault that they lust after us when we dress scandalously. Maybe the word modesty is a new one, but the idea has been around for a long time. 
There are 3 huge reasons why we, as Godly women, dress modestly:
A) Respect God.
God did not give us a womanly figure to use it for power. God didn't give us a womanly figure to show off to all the men. God gave us sexuality for marriage - to share with our husband, and him alone.
God created us in His image (Genesis 2).
Our body is a temple of the holy spirit. If we truly believe in Christ, He dwells inside of us. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; 2 Corinthians 6:16)
Everything we do should be glorifying to God. Bringing glory to God is ultimately our reason for existence. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
If we truly believe in the gospel and the holy sacrifice of Christ, we should desire to become more like Him.

B) Respect Guys.
Romans 14.
Women, if you understood men and how they think - there's no way you would dress the way you do.
Yes, lust is in the bible a lot. Why? Because it's something men, and even some women, struggle with. Here's the deal. Men are wired differently than us. Shocker. When I see a guy in shorter shorts, I think "gross, put some clothes on" and mentally put a shirt and longer pants on him. Unfortunately, guys don't have that mechanism - for them it's the opposite. When they see girls in provocative clothing, a low shirt, short shorts, etc - they start mentally undressing her before they can even blink. Many, if not all, of even the most Godly men I know struggle with this. This doesn't make them pigs, they don't wake up in the morning and think "man, I really want to demean women today so I'm going to think about sex a lot" in fact, Godly men pray for strength to guard their eyes when coming in contact with women. Godly men recognize our worth, and desire to respect us as their sisters in Christ.
Think about it this way: if you love chocolate, wouldn't it be hard for you to resist if a fondue fountain followed you wherever you went and you were told you aren't allowed to have any? If body image is something you struggle with, think about how often you think about your body. How often you think about food. Then amp it up a couple notches, and you have the temptation of lust for men.
If not just for guys in general, do it out of respect for your future husband. Don't you want him to be the only man who enjoys your body?
We should desire to build up our brothers in Christ. Dressing modestly isn't asking you to dress like a nun. It isn't asking you to wear turtlenecks. It isn't asking you to lock yourself in a room and never come out. It's asking you to think of others before yourself. It's asking you to exemplify Christ, and serve your brothers in Christ by helping to keep their eyes and minds pure.
1 Corinthians 8
Idolatry is not dead, unfortunately. It just masks itself in things other than golden calves. For men, sex is an idol. If immodesty causes my brothers in Christ to stumble, then look at this passage - what does it say? Oh right. We should dress modestly. 
C) Respect Yourself.
If you aren't going to dress modestly for guys or for God, at least do it for yourself.
Proverbs 31 gives some good adjectives to describe a Godly woman: trustworthy, good, kind, intelligent, resourceful, giving, dignified, wise, fearful of the Lord.
I'm not claiming to fully understand a guy's mind - believe me, I don't, but I am saying that if you had any inkling of an idea of the magnitude of their struggle it'd have you running to your closet and throwing on the nun costume.
You can look cute and be modest. It can be done.

Modesty isn't just clothes. Modesty is a mindset. Modesty is the desire to keep our brothers in Christ from stumbling. You can be immodest while wearing a turtleneck and sweatpants. It's all the in way you present yourself. Be modest in your frame of mind as well, if you're truly seeking to help your brothers in Christ to not stumble, then you'll be much more aware of how what you wear and how you present yourself affects them. And if you don't know - ask them!

The type of guys who are attracted to immodest girls aren't the type of guys you want to date or marry, so why would you waste your time anyways?

Pray about this, women. Modesty isn't a list of do's and dont's -it's a mindset to respect God, others, and yourself.

I want to encourage you to check out this website: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse
It's a bunch of guys talking about modesty, and it's really helpful in understanding guys' struggle.

It shouldn't be "how much can I get away with?" but "how can I better show respect to God's creation - aka myself?" If you were standing next to a lion, you wouldn't see how close you could get without it biting your arm off, but you'd stay as far away as possible - we should view modesty in the same way.

Now you might be thinking: Yeah, yeah, but it's way too hard - I'm never going to get it right. Pray, woman, pray! God will help you, and eventually modesty will just be part of your daily routine.
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