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Seek God

In times of trouble? Seek God.
In times of joy? Seek God.
In times of turmoil? Seek God.
In times of worry? Seek God.
In times of confusion? Seek God.
In times of sadness? Seek God.
In times of uncertainty? Seek God.
In times of despair? Seek God.
In all times, in all circumstances, seek God.

Life 101

Since I haven't written in a while, this might be kind of long.
A) God is good. So good.
I'm daily overwhelmed by his faithfulness and unconditional love.
I can't believe how much He's blessed me so far this semester.
I mean, don't get me wrong - it's had it's ups and downs, but God is faithful and constant through the storm.
He anchors my Soul.

B) I used to be legalistic.
God and I are working on that.
It's a slow process to extract the poison legalism has left in my blood stream.
I no longer read my bible because I feel a sense of obligation, but because I want to.
I find JOY in Christ, not shackles.
There is freedom in Christ.
In enjoying His embrace.

C) Love. Love. Love.
I love Jesus. So much.
I'm head over heels.
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm starstruck.
I love talking to Him.
When I first wake up, when I go to sleep, and everything inbetween.
Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
His love is astounding. Breathetaking. Awe-inspiring.
And Oh, so undeserved.

D) This summer was hard. Yes. It sucked.
Pain. Anguish. Darkness.
Through the storms, we learn the most.
We grow. We're refined.
I've learned so much.
I've grown so much.
I've found peace.
I've found rest.
I've found the heart of Christ.

E) I'm so grateful for Jesus.
I can't even begin to describe it.
I'm so excited to get to grown in my love for Him.
How can I love Him any more?
I fear that I may burst from my affection for Him.

F) Time flies.
I can't believe it's nearly thanksgiving already.
I mean, seriously. What is this?
NWC is wonderful.
I grew so much at Bethel, and learned so many needed lessons,
but I'm loving my time at NWC.
I love the design department.
The students are great.
The professors are super encouraging and caring.
The campus is beautiful.
The Holy Spirit is moving.

G) Sometimes I don't desire God.
That's true.
Today I do, but it's a day by day thing.
I'm praying.
I'm fighting.
And more importantly - Jesus is fighting for me.

H) Chai is good.
Coffee is great.
Praise God for warm drinks and caffeine.

I) I'm so blessed by my friends.
I can't even handle it.
I was thinking back to last year and the fears of freshman year, and the fears that came with transferring.
God is so good, and He truly hears the cries of my heart.
He's provided me with awesome friends - and for that I am eternally grateful.

J) I love living in the romance of the Lord.
His quiet whispers in the wind.
His warm embrace in the Sun's rays.
His gentle reminder of His love for me through the shadows the trees create.
Creation is remarkable. Astounding. Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful.
AND - the same hands that fashioned the earth fashioned me.
How crazy is that?

K) I used to think "oh, psalms are for the weak who can't read the real meat of the bible"
but then God was like "Aunica, you're being dumb. Isn't the WHOLE bible breathed by Me?
And, as usual, God was right. The Psalms are so good. I'm so blessed by the time I've been able to spend so far reading them.

L) Peace, Rest, Comfort.
Instead of freaking out when things aren't planned like I did last year, I'm way more chill.
I don't know where I'll be this summer. I don't know what's going on next weekend.
I don't know what I'll do tomorrow.
But, instead of freaking out or getting stressed - I'm peaceful.
The Lord is in control.
He steers me, He pilots me.
I just have to sit back and enjoy the ride.

M) I just want to glorify God.
So bad.

N) Complacency is easy.
I hate it. That's for sure.
I hate that busyness is the idol satan uses right now.
I hate that he takes my classes and friends and fills my time so I go days without realizing I haven't been spending solid amounts of time with Jesus.
Prayer is my weapon.

O) I love my roommate.
For reals. Thanks Jesus for Ang.
She's wonderful, sassy, and a great friend.
I'm so blessed.

P) I'm excited for thanksgiving. To be thankful.
I'm excited for Christmas to celebrate Jesus' birth.
I love holidays. I love home. I can't wait to go back.

Q) I'm thankful for jean dresses. Curly hair. Endorphins. Sunshine. Jesus. Josh Garrells. Music. Creation. The sky. Art. Art. Art. Design. the unknown. Music that just speaks to your ears. Wow. So beautiful.

Crucifixion Thoughts

Have you ever tried to explain something crazy, horrifying, or awesome to someone?
It's hard to do, right? You might have all the facts down, you might do your best to convey the emotions and the meaning - but when you're re-telling it or writing it's difficult.
This is something that hit me this morning.
I'm reading through the gospel, and I got to the crucifixion.
I was thinking about how terrible it was, and in between the heartaches of reading about Jesus' trial and the mocking and beating He endured, it hit me.
No matter how terrible I feel that it is, despite how numb we've become, or how gruesome it is - it can't be anything compared to witnessing it.
If my heart aches when I read about it and envision it, how much worse would it be to experience it first hand? To play a part? To be a bystander?
It's hard to convey the emotions. The jeering of the crowd, the knowledge of what was about to happen, and so on and so forth.
Think about it.

Jealousy

Jealousy.
I'm not a fan.
I realized tonight that I get jealous when my friends aren't giving me attention.
 If I feel this way - how much more is God jealous when I give my attention to other things?
Our God is a jealous God - and rightfully so.
He deserves our attention. Our adoration. Our praise.
But so often I turn and give this deserved worship to other things. To idols. To cheap imitations.
My jealousy is selfish and unnecessary.
God's is justified.

Deep Breaths & Momentarily Losing Control

There I was.
Sitting in the dining center, as visions of homework assignments, tests, and projects danced in front of my eyes.
Tears threatened to spill over as the wave of anxiety crashed down on my world.
I wanted to bolt. To just run away into the night, away from it all.
I wanted to scream into a pillow.
I wanted to take a nap in the grass.
I wanted to do anything but look at the enormous pile of things I needed to get done.
I tried to calm down, to breathe deeply.
To focus on what really mattered - God.
But, unfortunately, Satan had his claws of fear and stress deep into my heart - and there was no way I was going to get out of this alone.
So I downed my sandwich in two gulps, and bolted for the library.
There, in the serenity of the upper level - I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, then gave my worries to the Lord.
He's in control.
I'm definitely realizing more and more how much I need to give God my fears, my stress, my anxieties.
I can't just give Him my joy and my sorrow, but my stress and worries as well.
Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.
Breathe deeply of the Spirit.
Take a moment and bask in the presence of the Lord.
Sigh in relief.
How can I worry any longer when I'm craddled in the arms of the Creator?

Gratitude

 It's time.
That's what I heard God whisper this morning.
My short season of rest from the attacks of the father of lies is over, and it's time to put my armor on and get ready for battle.
All summer I fought hard, and after camp was over my exhaustion was complete.
Satan had won that battle.
I prayed fervently that the Lord would take away this fighting, at least for a season - and while at the time I didn't realize it, He did.
He helped me.
He held the evil one at bay, and gave me much needed recovery time.
I quenched my thirst with Scripture, and satisfied my hunger with pursuing Christ.
Gratitude.
It's been a great season of growing and joy, and I understand so much deeper how to continue to fight for that joy in the hard season as well.
I have an anchor, a cornerstone, for my Soul  - and I am not as easily shaken.
Satan may have won that battle, but the victory for the war over my Soul has already been won, and he doesn't come out on top.

Gratitude.
That's the only word I can use to describe how I feel this morning.
A deep, yearning sense of gratitude.
I'm grateful that the Lord protects me.
I'm grateful that I don't have to fight alone.
I'm grateful that the war has been won, the victory is ours.
I'm grateful that God continues to teach me, growing and molding me into the woman He wants me to be.
I’m grateful that God uses the hard things in life to teach me the most – that even when I’m running away, He continues to grow me in ways I couldn’t imagine.
I’m grateful that sometimes God does the opposite of what I ask Hiim to do – and I’m way better off in the end.
I’m grateful that He’s in control and I’m not.
I’m grateful for the deeper understanding of His sacrifice of His son I gained yesterday in my quiet time.
I’m grateful for the deep rest and peace He’s shown me through His presence this past month.
I’m grateful for humility and learning, and the peace that comes from knowing that even if I fail, He didn’t.
Gratitude is a beautiful thing, and I’m thankful for that this morning.

Songs I’m listening to:
Gratitude by Nicole Nordeman
Anchor by Josh Garrels

Gratitude

 It's time.
That's what I heard God whisper this morning.
My short season of rest from the attacks of the father of lies is over, and it's time to put my armor on and get ready for battle.
All summer I fought hard, and after camp was over my exhaustion was complete.
Satan had won that battle.
I prayed fervently that the Lord would take away this fighting, at least for a season - and while at the time I didn't realize it, He did.
He helped me.
He held the evil one at bay, and gave me much needed recovery time.
I quenched my thirst with Scripture, and satisfied my hunger with pursuing Christ.
Gratitude.
It's been a great season of growing and joy, and I understand so much deeper how to continue to fight for that joy in the hard season as well.
I have an anchor, a cornerstone, for my Soul  - and I am not as easily shaken.
Satan may have won that battle, but the victory for the war over my Soul has already been won, and he doesn't come out on top.

Gratitude.
That's the only word I can use to describe how I feel this morning.
A deep, yearning sense of gratitude.
I'm grateful that the Lord protects me.
I'm grateful that I don't have to fight alone.
I'm grateful that the war has been won, the victory is ours.
I'm grateful that God continues to teach me, growing and molding me into the woman He wants me to be.
I’m grateful that God uses the hard things in life to teach me the most – that even when I’m running away, He continues to grow me in ways I couldn’t imagine.
I’m grateful that sometimes God does the opposite of what I ask Hiim to do – and I’m way better off in the end.
I’m grateful that He’s in control and I’m not.
I’m grateful for the deeper understanding of His sacrifice of His son I gained yesterday in my quiet time.
I’m grateful for the deep rest and peace He’s shown me through His presence this past month.
I’m grateful for humility and learning, and the peace that comes from knowing that even if I fail, He didn’t.
Gratitude is a beautiful thing, and I’m thankful for that this morning.

Songs I’m listening to:
Gratitude by Nicole Nordeman
Anchor by Josh Garrels

My Story: In 3 Minutes or less

I was reading an article that talked about telling your story in 3- minutes or less, so I decided to try it.
Here's the article:
http://theresurgence.com/2012/09/29/whats-your-story

Who were you before you met Jesus?
I was depressed, suicidal, lonely, searching for satisfaction and to find something to fill the emptiness that threatened to eat me alive. I'm convinced that if Jesus hadn't come and scooped me up, I'd be dead by now.

How did you first hear of Jesus?
I grew up in a Christian home, going to church, Sunday school, and Awanas - so I'd heard about Him all of my life.

What was your conversion like?
 I prayed the prayer when I was 5, but it wasn't until the summer before my sophomore year that I realized that Christianity was so much more than just going to church and legalistically reading my bible (or not). That's the first time I saw the real relationship aspect of it.

What is the most important thing you have learned about Jesus since your conversion?
Wow. I easily get caught up in the pursuit of theology, so I could say any number of intelligent sounding things about doctrine or yada yada, but the reality is Jesus' love daily has me on my knees. Every morning when I wake up to find that He still loves me, He'll always love me, and there's nothing I can do to increase or decrease that love - there isn't anything I can do but fall to my knees. Jesus loves me. JESUS loves me. Jesus LOVES me. Jesus loves ME. Wow.

How has your view of yourself changed in view of your relationship with Jesus?
  I used to hate myself. I was suicidal and depressed, but Christ has truly pulled me out of death and into life. I find my worth in Christ instead of seeking satisfaction from things of this world. I am truly satisfied in the arms of Christ.

How does your story best point people to Jesus?
I love Jesus. So much. Sometimes I can't contain it, and I think people can see that - so I think in a lot of ways just my joy for life and my love for Christ indicate that it's something more than the lukewarmness that we see a lot of times in Christians. It's so much more than going to church, it's the relationship with our wonderful Savior and Redeemer.

{Praise God from whom all blessings flow}

Rest & Breathing Deeply

Rest.
Peace.
Breathing deeply.
Satisfaction in the arms of Christ.
This week has been long, that's for sure - classes seemed to drag, and despair has set in as the homework continues to pile up with no visible sign of light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm continually amazed at God's beautiful faithfulness.
Even when I'm stressed. No matter if I'm running towards or away from Him, He continues to teach me lessons.
I've been basking in the joy that I've found from the fact that I can't do anything to speed up my sanctification. That might seem like something that's a "duh" moment - but I've found so much peace in being able to sit back and let God do His thing.
There isn't anything I can do to "help" Him along. He is perfectly capable of handling my sanctification on His own.
Sanctification. What a process.
Sometimes I wish it were faster, but I've found a lot of peace in the fact that it isn't this week.
It's really easy for me to get busy at college.
Homework. Friends. Food. Sleep. Fun.
All of those things need to be balanced, and it's easy to go day to day and not spend significant time with the Lord. A few minutes there, a quick prayer here, a quick verse read there.
It's easy to get caught up in the busyness of school.
I can very easily allow myself to read my bible or spend time with God in places where there are people. I'd way rather sit at least in reach of my friends.
But - God has been teaching me this week to spend special time with Him.
Date nights.
Quiet afternoons.
Taking time out of the busyness and chaos of school to breathe deeply of His presence.
To gain a new perspective from His Word.
To sit still and rest.
To stop running around and sit still and listen.
I cherish my time spent with my sweet Jesus.
Comfy chairs. Lake benches. Grassy fields. Sunrises. Sunsets.
Jesus means everything to me, and I've found so much satisfaction in Him.
His arms are my home.
It's been sweet to see my perspective change when I'm abiding in Christ.
Sprained ankle? This summer I would have been mad. I can't kick box, play volleyball, basketball, frisbee, or any other form of exercise that I love so much.
But, with my learnings in rest, maybe God wants me to slow down.
To breathe deeply.
To take it easy.
To enjoy His presence.
To remind me that He is King.
He's taken away the pain, and I know that in due time He will heal my ankle.
He is faithful. He is just. He leaves me awestruck.
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