Uncategories Summer Sippin' & Learning on the Run

Summer Sippin' & Learning on the Run

Published on 10:28 PM By Aunica
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Wowza. This summer has been crazy.
I don't think I've ever spent as much time upset, mad, or frusterated with God as I have this summer - or learned as much.
It's been a bumpy road, that's for sure - but like in all things, God has taught me SO much.
Hah. Even when I try to run away from Him, He's teaching and molding me into the woman He created me to be.
A) I've learned a lot about His faithfulness. Oh, have I ever. By the time camp was over, I was really tired of being attacked by satan. I was tired of trials. I was tired of temptations. I was tired of being attacked. I was just done. So, I subconsciously decided the easiest way to get the devil off my back was to run away from God. To stop talking to Him. To stop making Him priority. But, in the process I layed down my armor and curled into a ball. But, instead of walking away pleased like I thought satan would, He took the opportunity to kick me and up his attacks from prevelent to relentless. So, once again, MY plans failed. So, I put on my armor again and got on my knees. Lord, fight for me - because I sure don't have the strength.
B) I've learned to be real. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not be okay. We live in a fallen world, and I'm definitely a sinner - so I'm going to fall short and I'm going to struggle. Fact.
C) I focus a lot on the pursuit of theological knowledge, which isn't bad - but I got so wrapped up in the knowledge part that I left Jesus on the sideline instead of making Him the focus. Theology - Jesus = nothing. Jesus + nothing = everything. Boom. So, theology is good - but I've been learning to accept three words that you learn the minute you hear about Jesus. Jesus loves me.
JESUS loves me.
Jesus LOVES me.
Jesus loves ME.
Crazy.
D) It's okay to not have the answers.
Wow. I find SO MUCH PEACE in that.
Thank-you Jesus for coming through when I fall short, which is far too often.
E) I want to be perfect. So bad. You have no idea. If there's anything I want, it's to reach perfection. To reach glorification. But, the process of sanctification is lifelong. I will never be perfect on this earth. I will fall short. I will struggle. I will stumble.
I'm always going to have idols. I'm always going to be striving and never succeeding.
BUT - God isn't mad at me when I suck. He isn't angry when I fall short. Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness.
When He sees me, He no longer sees my filth - He sees His Son.
All the more reason to strive to be like Christ.
F) I really like control. I've seen my control idol rear it's ugly head more than I wish I had this summer. Whether it's by not trusting God with my future, tomorrow, or the day to day - it was there. I struggle so much to trust God in all situations. I hate not knowing.
G) For so long I've envied those who found freedom in Christ. I've read about the freedom I should feel and seen it in many of my friends, but I'd never truly experienced it until this summer. I no longer feel burdened by my relationship with Christ. I no longer feel like I HAVE to do things or He'll be mad, but I WANT to do them. I want to read my bible. I want to talk to Him. I want to worship Him. They aren't just things I'm supposed to do or I have to do. Freedom. He isn't mad if I miss a day of reading. I just love Him so much. Aaaahhh. Freedom. So much freedom.
H) I hate being weak. OH, how I hate being weak. I want to be strong. I want to not struggle. I want to be sanctified completely. But, this summer I've seen God use my weaknesses more than ever before. I've seen Him use the hardships and experiences I've gone through to further His Kingdom, and it's been so great. SO great.
I) He is my anchor. All I need is Jesus. Even when everything else seems to tumble, I cling to the cross and the redemption I find in Christ.
J) I love my sweet Jesus.
K) There is rest for my soul in communion with the Lord.
Aunica

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